Category Archives: Coming Out as Transgender

How did I not die with you?   Dying is the state of my existence for the past few days – the emotional neurons of my brain firing degenerated signals from corroded synapses, pathways to my heart completely inundated with agony, each cell just dying from the inside out, each exploding in its personal supernovaContinue reading “Rebirth”

Thinking beyond the guidelines when navigating the transgender journey Insistent.  Persistent.  Consistent.  Community standards generally use these descriptions of behavior as a guideline or indicator that a child is serious about their gender identity. That being said, the absence of insistent, persistent and consistent articulation of one’s gender identity does not necessarily imply that aContinue reading “Insistent. Persistent. Consistent.”

Summer 2017:  Fear of losing my relationship keeps me in the closet.  I want to change but I don’t want US to change.  How could I expect her to stay attracted to me as my body physically changes if I go through with taking hormones and live as a man?  She has every right toContinue reading “Relationship in Transition”

Deciding whether or not to ‘go stealth’ as a trans person Stealth: A behavior or way of living in the transgender community where a fully transitioned person lives completely as their correct gender and does not reveal that they are transgender. A transgender person may ‘go stealth’ in order to avoid transphobia or simply becauseContinue reading “The Elephant in the Room”

After being on hiatus, I was finally back in yoga class but excitement soon turned to mortification as I endured the most awkward experience of misgendering.   As the teacher announced that class was about to start, she glanced around the entire room and realized there were no guys present.    Starting a conversation to theContinue reading “The Silver Lining in Being Misgendered”

Let’s change the negative language and therefore, the stigma of being transgender Is this a phase? Parents commonly ask when their child comes out as transgender.  It is most likely not a phase.  More on this here: https://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-children-and-youth-understanding-the-basics  For most parents this news usually comes as a shock but likely, the child contemplated their genderContinue reading “Being Transgender is Not “Just a Phase””

Your wrecking ball is my opportunity to become stronger. January 2016 Donald Trump was inaugurated today.  After the election and depression that followed, I sunk into a state of denial – surely, a greater force- some higher justice would not let this man into a position of power, right? As I sit here unable toContinue reading “Trump the Disrupter”

What would you change if you could live life over?  What does love feel like to you?  Who do you see when you look in the mirror?  Why do people take each other for granted? Do you wonder who I really am when nobody is looking? Do you ever just stare at the ceiling andContinue reading “Aftermath of Coming out as Transgender”

Can transgender children grow up to live happy lives? “I don’t want my child to be transgender because I don’t want them to have a difficult life.”  This is one of the most frequent things I hear parents say once they realize their child is transgender.  Parents grieve “the good life” for their child, assumingContinue reading “Positive Perspective for Parents of Transgender Children”

Turning Differences into Superpowers As children, everyone tells us, “Just follow your dreams!” or “You can be anything you want to be if you just put your mind to it!” Early on in life we stop believing this.  It just becomes another childhood lie, like Santa Clause or the Easter  bunny and slowly dreams fadeContinue reading “My Journey to Becoming a Life Coach”

Becoming Me Do you think you might be transgender but you aren’t sure?  It is okay to be unsure.  If there is one thing, I wish someone had told me while I was trying to figure out my gender identity, it’s this – Having a different narrative from most other transgender people does not invalidateContinue reading “On the Spectrum of Gender”

Beautiful butterfly emerging from my cocoon and you act blind.  Precious sense of sight you waste; powerful gift of speech, decays. I feel invisible.  Challenges and triumphs go unnoticed.  I am not the butterfly; I am the elephant in the room.  I miss being a child – all I had to do was exist andContinue reading “Coloring Outside the Lines”

“In nature, a flock will attack any bird that is more colorful than the others because being different is seen as a threat,” – Wrabel The greatest gift a mother could have – a daughter, and I’m stealing that gift away.  I feel her heart breaking- everyone’s heart breaking as I am transforming, evolving, reinventingContinue reading “Brightest Bird of the Flock”

How to Come Out to a 96-Year-Old Grandmother “Coming out” to family members proved most difficult, seemed surreal and caused me to second guess myself – Am I sure this is really me?  Do I really want to open up this can of worms?  Am I delusional and making this all up?  Is this aContinue reading “Lost in Translation?”

It’s lonely being transgender and feeling estranged from your parents.  I want to feel accepted and loved unconditionally.  I wish you could see that I am still the same human you have always known.  I might look different but inside I am still your little child. I realize that I sit here listening to musicContinue reading “Dear Dad, I Still Need You.”

“So, do you wish you had a penis?” my therapist of a year asked me. “I don’t know.” “So, you don’t want a penis?” she pressed further with a slight re-wording of her question as if semantics would make me crumble and admit my most buried of secrets. As her question hung in the air,Continue reading “So Do You Wish You had a Penis?”