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Author Archives: Christian
Debunking Myths About Being Transgender
Questioning Gender? Start here! There is no right or wrong way to be trans. Just because you are not cisgender, does not mean you have to adopt any particular definition of being transgender. Trans people can live happy and fulfilling lives, find partners and be in healthy relationships. Trans people are not doomed to sadContinue reading “Debunking Myths About Being Transgender”
Gender-Affirming Support is Life Saving
Avoid Regret and Support Transgender Children Do you ever worry about regret? My Nana is almost 101 years old. She has been in home hospice for almost two years and most of the time, she no longer recognizes her own children. Her eyes look without seeing; her mouth moves without speaking; and her mind seemsContinue reading “Gender-Affirming Support is Life Saving”
What I Wish I knew Before Transitioning 2
Myth Busters for Transgender Spectrum people There is no right or wrong way to be trans. You can transition. Or not. You can take hormones. Or not. You can start hormones then stop. You can come out to people before starting HRT or you can start HRT then come out to people six months later.Continue reading “What I Wish I knew Before Transitioning 2”
Testosterone and Cheating
Do Men Cheat Due to High Testosterone Levels? No doubt testosterone is a powerful, motivating force– after all, evolution created a powerful drive, capable of ensuring the survival of a species. Testosterone is one of the fuels that is responsible for creating new life, new generations, and ensuring the continuation of humanity – no smallContinue reading “Testosterone and Cheating”
Navigating Bathrooms as a Transgender Person
Every individual on the transgender spectrum is unique as is their personal journey, beliefs and experiences although I venture a guess that there is one issue we can all agree is a nuisance: Bathrooms. If every business would just create gender neutral – single room/stall restrooms, this world would be a better place! Not justContinue reading “Navigating Bathrooms as a Transgender Person”
Support and Affirmation
Reducing the Stigma of Being Transgender Will my trans kid have a normal life? Will anyone want to date them or will they be alone forever? Is the fact that they are transgender going to be the first and only thing people see in them? These are all common and valid questions and concerns! First,Continue reading “Support and Affirmation”
Celebrating Transgender Humans
Will my transgender child have a normal life? Will anyone want to date them or will they be alone forever? Is the fact that they are transgender going to be the first and only thing people see in them? These are all common and valid questions and concerns! First, just a reminder that people don’tContinue reading “Celebrating Transgender Humans”
Embracing Uncertainty
A phase – a temporary process of discovery – can be a liberating period of one’s life and lead to genuine growth. By honoring “phases”, we allow children a safe space to change their mind or change their identity without backlash, repercussion or the infamous, “I told you so!”. Dismissal of phases invalidates one’s abilityContinue reading “Embracing Uncertainty”
Rebirth
How did I not die with you? Dying is the state of my existence for the past few days – the emotional neurons of my brain firing degenerated signals from corroded synapses, pathways to my heart completely inundated with agony, each cell just dying from the inside out, each exploding in its personal supernovaContinue reading “Rebirth”
They/Them/Theirs
Discovering that there is no right or wrong way to be trans There is no right or wrong way to be trans, non-binary or gender non-conforming! My path from female to male has not been a straight line. Actually, it hasn’t been a line at all. Rather, it has been countless dots, like stepping stonesContinue reading “They/Them/Theirs”
Insistent. Persistent. Consistent.
Thinking beyond the guidelines when navigating the transgender journey Insistent. Persistent. Consistent. Community standards generally use these descriptions of behavior as a guideline or indicator that a child is serious about their gender identity. That being said, the absence of insistent, persistent and consistent articulation of one’s gender identity does not necessarily imply that aContinue reading “Insistent. Persistent. Consistent.”
Broken, We are Not
Transgender people aren’t having a hard time because they are transgender; they are having a hard time because society has decided that being transgender is a bad thing. People have drawn a conclusion in order to organize their own world and transgender people are caught in that crossfire. People bought into this negative view butContinue reading “Broken, We are Not”
The Boy Underneath
How is it that I can feel this nagging sense of discontent when I have everything? I have a good job that pays well, a healthy relationship, a reliable car, a cute house, people that love me. I travel and do the things I want to do. Could it be that having everything can makeContinue reading “The Boy Underneath”
The Man in the Mirror
Embracing Diversity During My “Second Puberty” Changes from testosterone happen so excruciatingly slow that my body almost physically hurts from watching it so hard. Time is such a joker. I must have checked the mirror on a thousand occasions before finally seeing hair on my chin and fuzz above my lip. My face shape appearsContinue reading “The Man in the Mirror”
Relationship in Transition
Summer 2017: Fear of losing my relationship keeps me in the closet. I want to change but I don’t want US to change. How could I expect her to stay attracted to me as my body physically changes if I go through with taking hormones and live as a man? She has every right toContinue reading “Relationship in Transition”
The Elephant in the Room
Deciding whether or not to ‘go stealth’ as a trans person Stealth: A behavior or way of living in the transgender community where a fully transitioned person lives completely as their correct gender and does not reveal that they are transgender. A transgender person may ‘go stealth’ in order to avoid transphobia or simply becauseContinue reading “The Elephant in the Room”
My First Shot of Testosterone
And the Rollercoaster of Emotions I’ve been over the moon with excitement for my first shot of testosterone but I woke up around 3:30 this morning and was overcome by anxiety. In complete darkness, everything hit me at once and to go through with this felt absolutely overwhelming and impossible. I would be lying ifContinue reading “My First Shot of Testosterone”
The Silver Lining in Being Misgendered
After being on hiatus, I was finally back in yoga class but excitement soon turned to mortification as I endured the most awkward experience of misgendering. As the teacher announced that class was about to start, she glanced around the entire room and realized there were no guys present. Starting a conversation to theContinue reading “The Silver Lining in Being Misgendered”
Death Bed Regret
Easy it is to fear regret when making a life altering decision. Parents dread their kids will regret transitioning. Even transgender people worry of regretting their decisions. I know I did: What if taking testosterone is a mistake? What if I miss living as a woman? But let me ask you: What if you regretContinue reading “Death Bed Regret”
A Million Ways to be Trans
There is no right or wrong way to be transgender nor must you fit into a binary. There is no one way to be trans and no such thing as being “not trans enough”. Gender is not binary; it is on a spectrum. We have been led to believe that gender consists of a ridgedContinue reading “A Million Ways to be Trans”
Being Enough
From the moment we enter kindergarten, we learn that life is an evaluation. We validate and confirm who we are based on how others define us- funniest, smartest, most likely to be successful, perfect attendance, most likable, most talented. We enter coloring contests before we can even color inside the lines then learn that chaotic,Continue reading “Being Enough”
Being Transgender is Not “Just a Phase”
Let’s change the negative language and therefore, the stigma of being transgender Is this a phase? Parents commonly ask when their child comes out as transgender. It is most likely not a phase. More on this here: https://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-children-and-youth-understanding-the-basics For most parents this news usually comes as a shock but likely, the child contemplated their genderContinue reading “Being Transgender is Not “Just a Phase””
Trump the Disrupter
Your wrecking ball is my opportunity to become stronger. January 2016 Donald Trump was inaugurated today. After the election and depression that followed, I sunk into a state of denial – surely, a greater force- some higher justice would not let this man into a position of power, right? As I sit here unable toContinue reading “Trump the Disrupter”
Aftermath of Coming out as Transgender
What would you change if you could live life over? What does love feel like to you? Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Why do people take each other for granted? Do you wonder who I really am when nobody is looking? Do you ever just stare at the ceiling andContinue reading “Aftermath of Coming out as Transgender”
Let’s Talk About Sex
Being transgender and going from an estrogen to a testosterone-run system gave me a greater opportunity to analyze sexual stereotypes, gender roles, and our current culture of sex. The vast majority of trans guys will experience a huge increase in sex drive upon starting testosterone therapy (HRT). The frequency of sexual fantasies increase, as doesContinue reading “Let’s Talk About Sex”
Things I Wish I’d Known Before Transitioning
“How can you know what you’re capable of if you don’t embrace the unkown?” ― Esmeralda Santiago Changes may come much slower (or faster!) than what you see on YouTube. People who are posting on YouTube likely have quick changes from testosterone. Some people take a few months to pass full time as male, others takeContinue reading “Things I Wish I’d Known Before Transitioning”
How Manly is Man Enough?
“These pains you feel are messengers, listen to them.” -Rumi No doubt my body has changed but testosterone will never completely eradicate my insecurities nor will it give anybody the ideal, perfect male physique. Testosterone will never narrow my wide hips that developed during puberty. Fat redistribution was more subtle than I envisioned prior toContinue reading “How Manly is Man Enough?”
Fear and Reward of Going on Testosterone
The decision to start hormone replacement therapy which entails weekly intramuscular testosterone injections into the thigh, was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. In the beginning, especially without new language to describe gender, it was hard to explain what being trans felt like. Paralyzed by the conundrum – if I couldn’t even understand howContinue reading “Fear and Reward of Going on Testosterone”
The Cost of Being Gendered as Male
Transitioning in the midst of a decade long photography project, presents an opportunity to see how differently people relate to me as a man vs. a woman. Enjoying a day off, I decided to swing by the Weirdest little Church in Texas, check out their volunteer program and hopefully capture a few shots on camera.Continue reading “The Cost of Being Gendered as Male”
Will I Regret Testosterone?
I worried for years that taking testosterone or “transitioning” could be the wrong decision. What if NOT taking testosterone is the wrong decision? What if I came out to everybody then changed my mind? What if this was a mistake but I had permanent changes? What if I looked in the mirror and hated theContinue reading “Will I Regret Testosterone?”
Positive Perspective for Parents of Transgender Children
Can transgender children grow up to live happy lives? “I don’t want my child to be transgender because I don’t want them to have a difficult life.” This is one of the most frequent things I hear parents say once they realize their child is transgender. Parents grieve “the good life” for their child, assumingContinue reading “Positive Perspective for Parents of Transgender Children”
Invisible Miracles
What I learned from “top surgery” Preoccupied by the outside of my body, I was distracted by the superficial parts of the body, visible to the eye. After going through surgery and instead, being so focused on what the “inside” of the body is capable of, I whole-heartedly believe that waking up each day toContinue reading “Invisible Miracles”
My White Privilege
Understanding Systemic Racism What a tragic week of murder and chaos this has been after months of coronavirus fear and quarantine. It’s all been weighing on me – the sadness, not knowing what to do or how to feel but also, not attending the protests. I made the decision early on to sit out theContinue reading “My White Privilege”
My Journey to Becoming a Life Coach
Turning Differences into Superpowers As children, everyone tells us, “Just follow your dreams!” or “You can be anything you want to be if you just put your mind to it!” Early on in life we stop believing this. It just becomes another childhood lie, like Santa Clause or the Easter bunny and slowly dreams fadeContinue reading “My Journey to Becoming a Life Coach”
Translating Transgender 