Invisible Miracles

What I learned from “top surgery”


Self portrait at 1 year and 3 months on testosterone. Text written 1-2019.

Preoccupied by the outside of my body, I was distracted by the superficial parts of the body, visible to the eye.  After going through surgery and instead, being so focused on what the “inside” of the body is capable of, I whole-heartedly believe that waking up each day to thank my body, should be a daily ritual.  Clearer than ever, I see how much we take for granted our inner workings.

Right before my surgery, people succumbed to illness yet my immune system kept me strong.   This body wards off hundreds of germs without any of my conscious awareness.  Our immune systems probably work harder than any man-made invention on the planet. 

Through anesthesia, my body was taken into a comma-like unconscious state, controlled by a perfectly effective cocktail of pharmaceuticals.  A machine breathed for me as I felt no pain and became incapable of making memories.  Without bleeding to death, a scalpel cut into my flesh.  I woke up and my body recovered.  Through invisible, complicated processes, my body healed itself.  After all I put it through – unrelenting pain, debilitating nausea, sleepless nights, and massive amounts of medication around the clock, my body did exactly what it was supposed to do in total forgiveness.

I realized what an amazing feat it is to breath automatically.  We move about our daily hassle and bustle and our hearts beat in perfect rhythm; our lungs breath in perfect volume.  That our eyes have the perfect relationship with our brains to perceive the things that make us smile, is a miracle.  Pleasure of the hot sun on our faces on a frigid morning, a warm shower after a long day, or lips meeting soft skin are gifts that wouldn’t be possible without the intelligence of our bodies.

Yet, this all goes unseen so we take it for granted.  It is easy to ignore that which can’t be seen despite the body’s amazing ability to tell us exactly what it needs and how it feels.  Constantly we push our systems past limits, deny sleep- just go one more place, our mind says. Just say yes to one more obligation or one more bite of that meal that slowly poisons our bodies.  We are so afraid to be alone, to be still.  We’d rather focus on the biggest muscles or the perfect breasts, beautifully painted faces, and forever retaining a youthful look while denying the aging process.

Sometimes our minds don’t deserve our bodies.

Invisible miracles are happening every day. 

Published by Christian

I am a Certified Life Coach at Out and Proud Life Coaching, LLC. I coach and mentor transgender adults and parents with transgender children from all over the world. I help transgender adults through all stages of transition and I help parents navigate their personal journey to gain the understanding needed to best support their child. Please visit chrisjcoach.com or on Facebook at Out and Proud Life Coaching to learn more or sign up for a free 30-minutes session so we can get to know one another!

4 thoughts on “Invisible Miracles

  1. So true! Our diets, lifestyles and thought patterns are disrespecting of our bodies. The mind, body and spirit must be aligned to function at their best. So many of our issues stem from our own sense of fragmentation. These are really important topics to ponder. Thank you for bringing them to light!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am really glad you got something out of my writing! Even now as I’m reading back over it, it’s a reminder to be grateful! I agree with you about the fragmentation – that is the perfect word to describe it, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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